I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
