1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
