i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I need a beard to bite.
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