goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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