in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
