O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
