Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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