I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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