I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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