I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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