you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
