i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
