dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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