Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
