haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Say something about gay babies.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
