she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just cropdusted the office
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
