Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
