I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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