The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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