did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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