i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
