Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
