and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
