it hurts more in the daytime
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
