Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
