let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
there is glitter all over my balls
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