So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
