i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
