Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
