I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
