youre lurking in front of me
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
