Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize