there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
how drunk are you?
Several
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
