I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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