And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
