after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
