Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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