"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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