drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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