I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
