don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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