All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
