Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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