i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
