Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
