guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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