I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
