I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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