Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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