I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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