Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
