I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
