just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Oh god it's open bar.
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