If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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